Love him or hate him, you know one thing about Warren Johnson – if asked he’s going to tell you his opinion on a subject. He won’t mince words. He won’t be politically correct. But that’s what’s made him what he is today in the sport.

WJ is a no-nonsense drag racer who plays to win in everything he does. He’s controversial at times and that comes from an undying love of the sport and a never-ending need for competition.

WJ has been around the block a time or two (or maybe three). He’s seen Pro Stock evolve from the humble pounds-per-cubic inch factorization to today’s complex 500-inch format. He’s raced the mountain motors (even though he’ll tell you it ought to be called mountain engines) and even driven cars he’s deemed unsafe at any speed.

WJ loves the nuts and bolts of engines. He meticulously dissects every part of a car on a regular basis.

However, sometimes he dissects the various parts of drag racing. That’s what he’s done with this version of The World According to.

Read along and see what racing would be like if “The Professor” was in charge.

Love him or hate him, you know one thing about Warren Johnson – if asked he’s going to tell you his opinion on a subject. He won’t mince words. He won’t be politically correct. But that’s what’s made him what he is today in the sport.

WJ is a no-nonsense drag racer who plays to win in everything he does. He’s controversial at times and that comes from an undying love of the sport and a never-ending need for competition.

WJ has been around the block a time or two (or maybe three). He’s seen Pro Stock evolve from the humble pounds-per-cubic inch factorization to today’s complex 500-inch format. He’s raced the mountain motors (even though he’ll tell you it ought to be called mountain engines) and even driven cars he’s deemed unsafe at any speed.

WJ loves the nuts and bolts of engines. He meticulously dissects every part of a car on a regular basis.

However, sometimes he dissects the various parts of drag racing. That’s what he’s done with this version of The World According to.

Read along and see what racing would be like if “The Professor” was in charge.

a d v e r t i s e m e n t

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The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to FRIDAY NIGHT QUALIFYING

This is a situation where the NHRA better wake up before the spectators stop coming on Saturday. Basically what it amounts to is that you have one shot to qualify out of four. When you first get there the track isn’t prepped to what it should be so you don’t have a decent track to run on. By the second session, the air comes around and is at its premium and the track is starting to get better. So you have one shot on Friday night. Usually on Saturday the air conditions have deteriorated. The track has been oiled by every fuel and alcohol car out there, so we are running down a greasy race track by Saturday. It is a situation that needs to be addressed.

Not only from the competitor’s side but from the fan’s viewpoint; they are getting disgusted by this whole thing. You go to Chicago and you have three out of 30 cars get down the track in the first session. The fans left the stands in droves because it was the worst performance of these supposedly kings of the sport. Then they see the Friday night session and a few cars got down and no one was going to improve, the stands were basically empty. The sanctioning body is there to strictly collect the money and get back to Glendora and they are forgetting about their basic – hell, only customer – the spectator. What it boils down to is the most important entity out there is the spectator and the second being the sponsor. The third is racer and I damn well guarantee you the sanctioning body is the low man on this totem pole.

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The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to MOUNTAIN MOTOR PRO STOCK RACING

I think if you are going to call it mountain motors, they need to make it 5,000 cubic inches. I had to laugh when they limited it to 800 cubic inches. They got too lazy to replace the sleeves in there so they wanted to make them 812. Then those were honed out as big as they could go, so let’s make it 816. Why don’t you set the limit at some ridiculous figure?

The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to WATERGATE SCANDAL

I stay out of politics.

The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to THE MUSCLECAR ERA

Every year had its significant vehicles. It was a time when Detroit was starting to appeal to its baby boomers is what it really amounted to. They had to respond with something. The smaller cars with the bigger motors are what the baby boomers wanted. It’s going into the retro deal today with the Challengers, Mustangs and Camaros to re-satisfy those people again.

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The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to GREEN ON RACE CARS

It doesn’t make any difference to me what color they are as long as they aren’t pink.

The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to NITRO RACING

In reality it’s just mechanical masochism. It’s not about racing. It’s about seeing how much you can blow up on that day. The only reason nitro racing exists is because of the NHRA’s delusional management.

The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to BOB GLIDDEN

That’s a subject that would take all day long to discuss. Bob was the master of his universe when he enjoyed his heyday, so be it. He worked his way to where he got to. He got it honestly.

The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to STICK AND BALL SPORTS

That’s for reporters that are too lazy to get out of their office and can hear it on the radio to come up with their report the next morning.

The World According to Warren Johnson when it comes to TODAY’S COST OF PRO STOCK

It kind of looks like the national debt, I think.