SUSAN WADE'S 4TH ANNUAL NAUGHTY OR NICE LIST

Mon, 2007-12-24 08:54

 

You'd better watch out. You'd better not cry. It won’t do you any good to pout, either. What's the line? "No crying in drag racing." That goes for whining. Let's see who gets candy canes and who gets lumps of coal in their Christmas stockings this year. (And no bribing for the 2008 list -- no cookies and milk will be accepted in the media room at any race track.) And if you don't like what you read, go have some figgy pudding and forgeddaboutit. 

A full version is available to 1320tv.com. 

 
 
Naughty
 
 
Tony Schumacher for dogging Hot Rod Fuller as the Countdown to the Championship whittled the field to eight, then four. (After he won the championship, his fourth straight and fifth overall, Schumacher did preface some remarks about the early points leader with a "not trying to be mean" qualifier. And he did show respect for Fuller and his team on the final day of the season by saying, "I'm proud of the way the team acted all day long. And I'm proud that every one of the guys was willing to walk over and shake Hot Rod's hand and tell him congratulations if it went the other way.")
 
Sorry for putting you on here twice right off the bat, Tony Schumacher, but your rant at Las Vegas during the Technicoat Shootout wasn't your finest moment. (In his postrace interview at Pomona, Schumacher did say he got wound up but said he still thinks the NHRA should address the issue of having a stop light at the scales at each track.) 
 
Jerry Archambeault, NHRA's vice-president of public relations and communications, has been cordial and helpful in many ways. But -- and it's hard to write this without laughing -- Jerry, c'mon . . . What you said at Reading was just too funny. Now, Shirley Muldowney had no idea in the world that 1320 TV was making this suggestion, but it occurred to us that it might be a lovely gesture for NHRA to supply Ms. Muldowney with a golf cart at the U.S. Nationals. Look -- nothing in it for us. We just thought that would be a thoughtful gesture, considering she had been having a lot of pain while walking following surgery -- which, oh by the way, was precipitated by the horrendous and devastating 1984 accident that happened to her while she was helping put on an entertaining show for NHRA fans. The response was . . . well, it's hard really to know what adjective to use here: "Eeeehhh . . . We can't." But she's a legend, one of your top five drivers of all time, according to your own promotion. "Well, we can't just provide a golf cart for every legend who wants one." (A) She didn't ask for it -- didn't even know the discussion was taking place on her behalf and (B) How many legends do you think were going to bombard you with golf-cart requests? Let's see . . . Of the top five drivers, Don Garlits wouldn't have taken one, Kenny Bernstein and John Force still were racing in the Funny Car field, and Don Prudhomme has his own and walks everywhere anyway. Sheesh. By the way, Ms. Muldowney hung out with friends Mike and Sheila Kopchick, who had a golf cart. But you legends, watch it -- being an NHRA legend will get you no extra privileges. So stay healthy and learn to walk all day long over acres of territory. Or just remember what one pro driver said quite sincerely, just matter-of-factly, a few years ago about a completely different matter, "Nah -- NHRA . . . They're not the kind to do anything nice." Would HD Partners Acquisitions give us a kinder, gentler NHRA?

 

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We love the U.S. Army, so we hate to say this: The U.S. Army sponsorship honchos, for jettisoning the Pro Stock Motorcycle tandem of Angelle Sampey and Antron Brown from their package. Crummy way to treat good soldiers among your P.R. troops.
 
Kim and Karl Klement, what were you thinking? You've always been fine with me, but it's hard to understand the business decision to drop Peggy Llewellyn. All that comes to mind is "What have you done for me lately?" And wow -- that's not a reputation that's flattering. You do get kudos, though, for hiring Angelle Sampey and keeping her in the sport.

Morgan Lucas, you were going to get criticism no matter what you did in the first round at Reading, weren't you? You had no chance to make the Countdown field but ran teammate Melanie Troxel heads-up and beat her. Would you have gained respect if you had taken a dive? She said she respected the challenge and wanted to do things fair-and-square. Making the Naughty List was more for your cheekiness, more of a teasing thing, because drag racing shouldn't be about backing off and being a nice guy. That isn't racing at all. Nobody with integrity likes winning because somebody let him. Besides, that unknown result is what keeps people paying money to sit in the grandstands and watch.

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The NHRA's Countdown to the Championship. Ugh. The idea -- a copycat of NASCAR's Chase -- was flawed from the start. Yes, all the drivers knew the rules and were responsible for their own strategies. So this isn't a sentimental whine on behalf of anybody. However, it cost Hot Rod Fuller, Ron Capps, and Greg Anderson, who had led the standings for most of the season in their respective classes. And it certainly had Matt Smith worried, although he recovered to win the Pro Stock Motorcycle championship. One bobble and you're done. Not fair. In NHRA's defense, it is evaluating the process and appears open to refinements. The sanctioning body is seeking input from various participants, including the media. The biggest complaint seems to be the notion of four drivers having only two races to battle for the title. But why is everyone conceding to the concept? Is some housewife from Snohomish, Washington, the only one who's bothered by the idea that we are opening the door to rewarding mediocrity? What's wrong with letting drivers do their best and letting the top driver and his or her top performance determine the championship? IHRA didn't resort to a playoff format, and the championships in four of its five professional classes came right down to the final day of competition. This sport is so exciting that even if championships had been settled before the final race at Pomona, the crowd certainly would have gotten its money's worth all weekend long. Melanie Troxel brought up a salient point after she missed the cut at Reading. While she acknowledged that she definitely wanted to be among the top eight, she questioned whether she would have had a realistic chance to win a championship from the No. 8 spot. If the lower-seeded drivers in that Elite Eight aren't convinced they have a chance to win it all, why bother? Melanie Troxel and all the other drivers are talented enough to win a championship in a traditional format. Nice try, NHRA, but have some faith in genuine competition. You made plenty of money and drew millions of fans during the past 50-some years doing it that way. 
 
Connie Kalitta, for suing Shirley Muldowney, charging her with responsibilty for the poor performance of his teams this year. Yep, he really is suing her. Check the public records.  
 
Whit Bazemore, we love ya. But you're the only person ever to send us scrambling to find the "bleep" button in video editing.

 

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Nice
 
The outpouring of love, concern, and support by fellow racers, companies, and fans in the aftermath of Eric Medlen's fatal crash in March and John Force's serious wreck in September.
 
J.R. Todd's victory at Houston and Brandon Bernstein's sharing the winners circle with Robert Hight at Las Vegas. All were best friends of Eric Medlen, and those first two races after his passing were emotionally charged. Perhaps those victories helped the healing process.
 
John Medlen, for his strength and Christian testimony in the toughest of circumstances. The John Force Racing crew chief received 1320 TV's inaugural Mike Aiello Spirit of Drag Racing Award.
 
Mike Neff, for the respect he has shown in accepting the offer to drive the fourth Castrol Ford Mustang Funny Car for the John Force Racing organization. Stepping into a seat that was vacated because of a fatal accident is a tremendously difficult task, but Neff has had two especially helpful role models in Bruce Allen and Gary Scelzi, the man he tuned to the 2005 Funny Car title. (Allen succeeded Lee Shepherd in Pro Stock, and Scelzi followed Blaine Johnson in Top Fuel).
 
Bruce Litton, for being rewarded for his patience, in earning the IHRA Top Fuel championship. It couldn't have happened to a nicer man -- a man who has had to overcome his share of troubles in the past few years with a business fire and a nasty 2006 on-track accident.
 
Kenny Bernstein, for giving Tommy Johnson Jr. a chance to drive in 2008. A candy cane, too, for Don Prudhomme, for being ready to honor his financial commitment to Johnson Jr. if he had not found another driving job in the wake of his sponsorship loss.
 
Kurt Johnson, for his encouraging messages during each round of eliminations at Phoenix that were aimed at Roy Johnson (Pro Stock rival Allen Johnson's father and co-team owner). Roy Johnson, no relation, was recovering from two nearly fatal heart attacks the night before.

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General Motors and Fred Simmonds and NHRA drivers Warren Johnson, Jim Yates, Tommy Johnson Jr., Melanie Troxel, and Cory McClenathan, for participating again in the USO visit to the U.S. troops in Germany. (Some of those highlights are available in 1320 TV's "Maybe You Missed" section.)
 
Dave Hance, for his success with a bigger and even better Shakedown at E-town four-category outlaw race at Englishtown, New Jersey's Old Bridge Township Raceway Park this November. And to Michelle Marchese, for her tireless administrative efforts in supporting promoter Hance. Her juggling act with two telephones, statues and awards, and a seemingly endless stream of people to the window of her 7-by-10-foot trophy room -- all with a genuine smile and interest in the racers and their families -- puts Cirque du Soleil to shame. This is the performance to pay to see!
 
Carl Weisinger, for withstanding the untimely monsoon that washed out his World Street Nationals in October. A couple of years ago, no fewer than three hurricanes raked his Orlando Speed World Dragway, and he and the facility (and beloved dog Peggy Sue) survived that. So here's to Carl's resilience, not to mention the upgrades he made to the track and grounds.
 
Mail Terminal Services owners Rodger and Karen Comstock, for their "Mail From Home" program all racing season. The promotion resulted in thousands of encouraging postcards for the U.S. troops stationed in the war zones.
 
Tony Pedregon, for graciously thanking all those who paved the way for him and for showing emotion after clinching his championship.
 
J.R. Todd, for doing so well despite the musical-chairs game of crew chiefs. 
 
Pro Stock Motorcycle's Jackie and George Bryce, owners of G2 Motorsports, for helping their Americus, Georgia, community, in trying to win an MRI machine for the local hospital. A tornado in March destroyed Sumter Regional Hospital in Americus, and the Bryces are encouraging folks to participate in an online contest that Siemens is sponsoring. Thanks to the 1320 TV viewers who already have voted for Sumter Regional Hospital by typing  www.winanmri.com, selecting Sumter Regional Hospital from a list, and voting for the facility. Deadline for voting is December 31, so it isn’t too late to do something helpful for an entire community in Southwest Georgia who desperately need some help for their hospital.
 
Andrew Hines, for his spontaneous compliments about Pro Stock Motorcycle rival Angelle Sampey when he won the national event in June at Joliet, Illinois.



 

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"The Cowboys" -- Bob Coffman and Glenn Williams -- for stepping up and sponsoring the $100,000-to-win Shootout for Top Fuel dragsters that for years was known as the Budweiser Shootout.
 
Jason Russell Beckman, for his arrival to Jack and Jenna Beckman.
 
Ken Black, for helping with travel arrangements for Gary Scelzi, canceling the four-time champion's hiatus from the sport.
 
IHRA President Aaron Polburn, for bringing his passion to his job, even in the face of unfortunate circumstances. At San Antonio, in the season opener, the racing surface had to be torn up and repaved in the middle of the night. The event finished as an eighth-mile affair. Track conditions also forced the action at Toronto to be concluded as an eighth-mile race. Polburn, whose public-address commentary kept the crowds positive through numerous rain and other delays and buoyed the spirits of the media at every race, also attends NHRA races and sits in the stands in a constant effort to listen, learn, and improve the entertainment value of the IHRA package. His column on the back page of every Drag Review Magazine (DRM) is a terrific combination of humor and heart.  
 
Doug Herbert, for injecting some excitement into the Countdown  with his Cinderella performance at Reading that not only broke his 65-race winless streak but launched him into the Countdown dash. The glass slipper wasn't size 15 for the 6-foot-4, 220-pound driver, though, and his Snap-on Tools Dragster turned into a pumpkin.
 
Peggy Llewellyn, for her Sept. 23 victory at Dallas, bringing some joy to an otherwise ugly day that saw a serious accident involving two of the sport's biggest stars, John Force and Kenny Bernstein.
 

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Brady Kalivoda, for his gracious acceptance, privately as well as publicly, of team owners Tim and Renee Coghlan's decision to shelve the dragster when crew chief Keith Stewart left for a fulltime gig.

 
IHRA Nitro Funny Car driver Jack Wyatt, for the respect he showed for his competitors in accepting the IHRA Sportsman Award this fall. During the season, he helped Dale Creasy Jr., the man who edged him once again for the championship.
 
The IHRA, for making chicken salad out of chicken . . . um, feathers . . .  and being willing to experiment with eighth-mile racing. The sanctioning body also gets a big thumbs-up for its Pro-Am divisional-race format: double races on the same weekend to save racers money. NHRA might want to try that. And IHRA gets a good-taste gold star for hiring 1320 TV videographer and editor Brian Wood as editor of DRM. We'll continue to see Brian's handiwork on 1320 TV.
 

Ashley Force, for the way she conducted herself throughout her rookie season. She was composed, articulate, respectful, and humble during some of the most difficult situations, the least of which was racing an 8,000-horsepower, nitromethane-fueled Funny Car against a couple dozen seasoned veterans. And she did it all with a sense of humor and a strong understanding of how drag racing operates.

 
Dean Antonelli, Ashley Force's crew chief, for making her competitive on the track and for helping her sort out all the crazy circumstances in which she had to compete this season.
 


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